The Pregnant Man
So many of my closest allies have said enough semi-offensive things on this topic, I had to weigh in.
I'm not even going to comment on the "So he's really a woman" nonsense that this has brought to the forefront, though I am glad that the conversation is being had in mainstream circles. Sex and gender are different, how many ways does it need to be said?
"Why would you go through transition to become a man, just to do the most womanly thing a human can do" is the question I keep hearing. Sometimes it's just a curious muse, sometimes it is said with a sneer, as if this person is either an idiot or totally insincere or inauthentic as a (trans)man.
My response is that, once you have gone through transition, you understand on a fundamental level a few things:
1) That sex and gender are totally different things. Your body exists as proof.
2) That gender is fluid and grows as you grow. The same way you're different now from who you were when you were 13. (Most people are, anyway...though not, it seems, David Letterman...)
3) That most of the categories we hold "men" and "women" to are meaningless, since you, obviously can move in and around all of them (even when you're not trans). You have done this, you know well.
4) YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE. Most of us even go to the point of almost taking our lives; transition saves us and makes us smarter and more in touch with the courage you need to truly make yourself happy.
That's "why."
Love and kisses, and lots of happiness to you in all the unusual places you might find it.
Turner
ps - And I'm not saying "do anything to be happy." No morally ambiguous arguments about pedophilia or bestiality should arise from that statement. Do what makes you happy, so long as it's safe, sane, and consensual as most reasonable people understand it. You know exactly what I mean if you yourself are a reasonable person. xxoo.
I'm not even going to comment on the "So he's really a woman" nonsense that this has brought to the forefront, though I am glad that the conversation is being had in mainstream circles. Sex and gender are different, how many ways does it need to be said?
"Why would you go through transition to become a man, just to do the most womanly thing a human can do" is the question I keep hearing. Sometimes it's just a curious muse, sometimes it is said with a sneer, as if this person is either an idiot or totally insincere or inauthentic as a (trans)man.
My response is that, once you have gone through transition, you understand on a fundamental level a few things:
1) That sex and gender are totally different things. Your body exists as proof.
2) That gender is fluid and grows as you grow. The same way you're different now from who you were when you were 13. (Most people are, anyway...though not, it seems, David Letterman...)
3) That most of the categories we hold "men" and "women" to are meaningless, since you, obviously can move in and around all of them (even when you're not trans). You have done this, you know well.
4) YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE. Most of us even go to the point of almost taking our lives; transition saves us and makes us smarter and more in touch with the courage you need to truly make yourself happy.
That's "why."
Love and kisses, and lots of happiness to you in all the unusual places you might find it.
Turner
ps - And I'm not saying "do anything to be happy." No morally ambiguous arguments about pedophilia or bestiality should arise from that statement. Do what makes you happy, so long as it's safe, sane, and consensual as most reasonable people understand it. You know exactly what I mean if you yourself are a reasonable person. xxoo.
posted by Scott Turner Schofield at 2:33 PM
2 Comments:
Great post!
I am weighing in as well, in a series of posts at my blog.
What I find both disappointing but not surprising is the ftm/transman backlash.
Jay
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